Muffins and Marriage

(I'm late, I'm sorry! I don't even have a legit excuse, I just didn't post) I was relieved when I arrived back at the apartment and there was only a single light on – Sunny and Noah were asleep. I knew Sunny would have a barrage of questions, and while I also knew I couldn’t avoid it forever, I was grateful for a little reprieve – a chance to sit with this buzzing feeling and just enjoy it, until I had to answer her questions (which I knew would raise my own questions about what this was.)

However, I wasn’t totally home free. After I washed my face, I came out of the bathroom and spotted a note on my bed:

Hey there hot stuff,
Hope you had fun (and wore protection!) Can’t wait to hear all about it tomorrow, so don’t skimp on the details.
-Sunshine
P.S the whole point of this note was to tell you we have a meeting with Matt next Thursday, so don’t schedule any hot dates for that night!

I rolled my eyes, but smiled. I laid the letter on my night table and turned down my blankets. I climbed into my bed, thinking about how I wasn’t the least bit tired, and how it was going to take me forever to fall asleep. That was the last thought I had before I heard my alarm go off the next morning.

“Morning Mo’s!” I called as I walked into the shop.
“Mel! You’re here early!” Mona called, pushing the swinging door open from the kitchen.
“Not really, just on time for a change.” I said, laughing.
“And you’re in a good mood.” She observed, smiling a sly smile.
“It happens.” I said, shrugging. “Did Sunny talk to you about us hiring someone else?” I ventured carefully.
“Someone else as in… Replacing Maurice and I?” She ventured just as carefully.
“Oh no, Mona. I’m keeping you as long as you stay.” I said, walking over and hugging her. “I just think that it would ease a lot of the pressure if we had a few hands on deck. I mean you guys are an amazing help, but I would like to give you a day off now and then, as well as take one myself without worrying, or having to play catch up for a week after. Not to mention, if we had a couple college kids on hand during the lunch hour, we could take on more jobs. I mean, you guys are the reason this business is still around. You helped me so much, and we’ve had to all carry this load by ourselves for this long because we haven’t really had the means to take on anyone else. But, now we can, and I think we should.”
She nodded. “Maurice and I don’t mind working so much. What else are we going to do? We’d just sit at home and get old. I know you don’t believe me, but I like it here. But, I do worry about you girls. You’re too young to work so much, you know. Too young to worry so much.”
“Well, hopefully this will help. And I would like you to sit in on the interviews. I trust your judgment.”
“Of course. Oh, and speaking of expanding, I told Rachel to go ahead and drop off a sample of muffins this morning. I know I didn’t set it up with you first, but I told her to just drop them off and you’d taste them and let me know how you felt. She brought six kinds, I left them on your desk. Maurice and I tried some already, we left our recommendations on your desk ask well.” She said, winking at me. “I’ll bring you in some coffee in a little bit.”
“Thanks Mo. You’re a lifesaver.”

I went into the office and should have been working on the books and billing, but I couldn’t concentrate. Instead I kept replaying last night in my mind, wanting to text John, knowing I shouldn’t, and wondering what it was about him that made it so hard to concentrate on other things. Giving up all hope of working, I signed online and got on facebook. We should be facebook friends, right? I mean that was acceptable, wasn’t it?

Except, I couldn’t find him. I started by searching his name, and as I clicked through the results I realized there were too many, and so far none of them were him. Then I went to Noah’s page – feeling stupid because of course he and Noah would be friends, and of course that was the easier way to find him. Only he wasn’t on his list there either. I sat, scrolling through Noah’s friends pictures, looking, until my phone buzzed and I nearly jumped out of my skin thinking it was Sunny coming in, knowing that if she caught me, I would never live it down.

It was a text. From John.

John: I just love a good pickle.

I laughed, and then without thinking, typed a response:
Are you a mind reader? I was just attempting to facebook stalk you and you are un-stalkable.

I, of course, regretted it as soon as I clicked send – thinking it was too forward, knowing that once again my mouth had worked faster than my brain, but I didn’t have much time to dwell on it, because in walked Sunny. I steeled myself for the inquisition, but was surprised when none came.

“Sunshine?” I said, since she didn’t offer me a hello. When she glanced up at me, I saw her eyes were puffy. “What’s wrong?”
“Oh. Nothing.” She huffed in a way that clearly said that something was wrong. “Noah is just being a jackass.”
“What’s he doing?” I asked, noticing the muffins on my desk for the first time. I reached into my desk and pulled out a plastic knife, cutting each into smaller pieces. Sunny watched my quizzically. “Nothing. I don’t know. He’s just been so short these last couple days. And he’s been so busy. It’s like, I hardly get to see you and when I do, you’re being an asshat. I wonder if maybe we’re drifting apart. I mean we’ve been together forever and…”
“You HAVE been together forever, Sun.” I cut her off, handing her a plate full of muffin samples. “Taste these, help me decide if we like any of them. You have been together forever, and I think sometimes that means it’s not always sunshine and roses. He’ll get grumpy, you’ll get grumpy. It doesn’t mean you’re breaking up. Growing pains, is all.”
“But what if we grow apart? And since we have been together forever, why aren’t we making any movement towards a more stable commitment?”
“Are you talking marriage, Sun?” I said, playing stupid and popping a piece of muffin in my mouth. I almost lost my train of thought, the muffin was so good.
“Yeah I’m talking marriage. I mean, isn’t that the next step? It’s not like anyone could accuse us of rushing into it.” She snorted.
“I thought Noah wanted to wait until he settled?” I said, trying desperately not to give anything away.
“He did, Lanie. But that was when he was in school. Then when he got out he wanted to wait until he got a steady teaching job, and he has one. I don’t know. I know I sound like a whiner, but I just feel like… I feel like if he’s not ready now, he won’t ever be. I don’t want to lose him.” I saw the tears well up in her eyes, how scared she was, how hurt she was… I wanted to spill then, to erase her fears, but I knew that would ruin the moment later.
“I just think he’s probably stressed, and he’s snapping at you because he is so close to you. I know it seems like a contradiction, but he’s showing this side to you because he knows you’ll be there for him. Just… Give him some space. We’ll have a good old fashion girls night tonight.”
“And you can tell me about your date.” She said, wiping her eyes and smirking at me.
“Was not a date. But I’ll tell you about it.” I relented. “However, first help me make a decision about these muffins. They’re all so good. Which is your favorite?”

While Sunny was tasting her muffins, I glanced at my phone. Blinking light meant I already had a text back, and it took everything I had not to check it right then – but I knew Sunny would question me, and I’d have to wait until I got a private break in the day.