So this week was filled with screenings for Cayden because he starts preschool next week!

I know it's a total cliche - "where did the time go?" But... It's just so true. Where DID the time go? I felt like I was just waiting for the summer to start, and now it's nearly over and we're heading in to fall. I feel like I was just reading the positive pregnancy test with Cayden - almost throwing it away when I caught that second line and now he's almost four and going to pre-school!

It also never fails that whenever big events happen, I think about where we'll be next year. Next year might possibly mean kindergarten (though we are considering holding him back for a second year of preschool - he's not 4 until the end of September, so he'd be one of the younger kids going in.) And then after that he'll be in first grade! In two seconds I just aged my kid two years, but seriously... That's not that far away. I remember shopping for Cayden when he was a newborn and looking at the 3t/4t footie pajama's and how big they were and thinking "my kid is never going to be that big, he's so tiny right now." And here he is - bigger than those sizes.

For some reason though, the aging of Eli doesn't hit me as hard as Cayden's does. I don't know why - I think it's because no matter how big Eli gets, compared to Cayden he's still such a baby. Still, he'll be two here soon (three months from yesterday). Two years ago, I was super pregnant, getting ready for Cayden's second birthday. It really makes me feel like I should get on having another baby (our last.) But, in the same breath, I can't believe Cayden was this little and I thought it'd be a good idea to have another!

Anyway - we're getting ready to head in to what I like to call our "busy" season. This year it starts a little earlier than last year, because Cayden starts school next week. Then we have Cayden's birthday, then it's pumpkin patch season, then it's trick or treat, then it's my MIL's birthday, thanksgiving, and Eli's birthday, then Christmas, New Year's my Mom's birthday, and mine. There are breaks in between, obviously, but for some reason this is the time of year EVERY year that our schedule just gets packed with stuff.

We are keeping birthday's smaller this year - Cayden isn't having a party. We were going to take him to an overnight in one of those waterpark hotels, but then the more we talked about it, the more we realized that we should probably save that for when he's a little older (Cayden himself said "What if there are deep pools and I fall in one?" While I'm not really worried about that, it is a lot of money for Cayden to play in the kiddie area for an hour and be done.) I think now we're doing a lunch with the family and then a trip to build a bear.

Eli's not having a party either. I feel a little guilty about this (we did, after all, have a party for Cayden's 1st, 2nd, and 3rd birthdays, and Eli's only gotten a 1st birthday party. I know, I know, I'm stupid, but I have serious Mom guilt. Also, being the baby of the family, I got shafted and now am insane about keeping things "equal") However, we are going out of town for his birthday. Friends from Memphis are coming to Cinci, so we're going to drive down and meet them and take the boys to a train museum.

I'm trying to keep things smaller - my family and Jeremy's family goes insane with gifts and Cayden is starting to get really spoiled, so that needs to be nipped in the bud. Not to mention, they both get so many toys that they're everywhere and they don't play with half of it - it's just wasteful. All a party does is make people feel like they have to get him more stuff. I just am weird about that kind of stuff - I feel like I have to do it, and i know that's ridiculous, but I suffer from the most random bouts of Mom guilt. I realize that I'm lucky, in a sense, to be feeling guilty over such a small, insignificant thing, but I still feel guilty.

Anyway, that's my mindless rambling about stuff that doesn't matter :-) We took the boys to Ohio Village yesterday (an old timey- village) and here are a couple pictures.


Don't mind Cayden, who never looks at the camera, or Eli's wild hair which I will probably never cut (he looks less girly when I actually 'do' it)


Eli on stilts. Cayden refused to stand on them, because he is his mother's child and is a big scaredy cat, lol


Cayden next to a stuffed Tiger (Tigers are currently his favorite animal) Again, not really looking at the camera - he's so camera shy lately that I take what I can get

Muffins and Marriage

(I'm late, I'm sorry! I don't even have a legit excuse, I just didn't post) I was relieved when I arrived back at the apartment and there was only a single light on – Sunny and Noah were asleep. I knew Sunny would have a barrage of questions, and while I also knew I couldn’t avoid it forever, I was grateful for a little reprieve – a chance to sit with this buzzing feeling and just enjoy it, until I had to answer her questions (which I knew would raise my own questions about what this was.)

However, I wasn’t totally home free. After I washed my face, I came out of the bathroom and spotted a note on my bed:

Hey there hot stuff,
Hope you had fun (and wore protection!) Can’t wait to hear all about it tomorrow, so don’t skimp on the details.
-Sunshine
P.S the whole point of this note was to tell you we have a meeting with Matt next Thursday, so don’t schedule any hot dates for that night!

I rolled my eyes, but smiled. I laid the letter on my night table and turned down my blankets. I climbed into my bed, thinking about how I wasn’t the least bit tired, and how it was going to take me forever to fall asleep. That was the last thought I had before I heard my alarm go off the next morning.

“Morning Mo’s!” I called as I walked into the shop.
“Mel! You’re here early!” Mona called, pushing the swinging door open from the kitchen.
“Not really, just on time for a change.” I said, laughing.
“And you’re in a good mood.” She observed, smiling a sly smile.
“It happens.” I said, shrugging. “Did Sunny talk to you about us hiring someone else?” I ventured carefully.
“Someone else as in… Replacing Maurice and I?” She ventured just as carefully.
“Oh no, Mona. I’m keeping you as long as you stay.” I said, walking over and hugging her. “I just think that it would ease a lot of the pressure if we had a few hands on deck. I mean you guys are an amazing help, but I would like to give you a day off now and then, as well as take one myself without worrying, or having to play catch up for a week after. Not to mention, if we had a couple college kids on hand during the lunch hour, we could take on more jobs. I mean, you guys are the reason this business is still around. You helped me so much, and we’ve had to all carry this load by ourselves for this long because we haven’t really had the means to take on anyone else. But, now we can, and I think we should.”
She nodded. “Maurice and I don’t mind working so much. What else are we going to do? We’d just sit at home and get old. I know you don’t believe me, but I like it here. But, I do worry about you girls. You’re too young to work so much, you know. Too young to worry so much.”
“Well, hopefully this will help. And I would like you to sit in on the interviews. I trust your judgment.”
“Of course. Oh, and speaking of expanding, I told Rachel to go ahead and drop off a sample of muffins this morning. I know I didn’t set it up with you first, but I told her to just drop them off and you’d taste them and let me know how you felt. She brought six kinds, I left them on your desk. Maurice and I tried some already, we left our recommendations on your desk ask well.” She said, winking at me. “I’ll bring you in some coffee in a little bit.”
“Thanks Mo. You’re a lifesaver.”

I went into the office and should have been working on the books and billing, but I couldn’t concentrate. Instead I kept replaying last night in my mind, wanting to text John, knowing I shouldn’t, and wondering what it was about him that made it so hard to concentrate on other things. Giving up all hope of working, I signed online and got on facebook. We should be facebook friends, right? I mean that was acceptable, wasn’t it?

Except, I couldn’t find him. I started by searching his name, and as I clicked through the results I realized there were too many, and so far none of them were him. Then I went to Noah’s page – feeling stupid because of course he and Noah would be friends, and of course that was the easier way to find him. Only he wasn’t on his list there either. I sat, scrolling through Noah’s friends pictures, looking, until my phone buzzed and I nearly jumped out of my skin thinking it was Sunny coming in, knowing that if she caught me, I would never live it down.

It was a text. From John.

John: I just love a good pickle.

I laughed, and then without thinking, typed a response:
Are you a mind reader? I was just attempting to facebook stalk you and you are un-stalkable.

I, of course, regretted it as soon as I clicked send – thinking it was too forward, knowing that once again my mouth had worked faster than my brain, but I didn’t have much time to dwell on it, because in walked Sunny. I steeled myself for the inquisition, but was surprised when none came.

“Sunshine?” I said, since she didn’t offer me a hello. When she glanced up at me, I saw her eyes were puffy. “What’s wrong?”
“Oh. Nothing.” She huffed in a way that clearly said that something was wrong. “Noah is just being a jackass.”
“What’s he doing?” I asked, noticing the muffins on my desk for the first time. I reached into my desk and pulled out a plastic knife, cutting each into smaller pieces. Sunny watched my quizzically. “Nothing. I don’t know. He’s just been so short these last couple days. And he’s been so busy. It’s like, I hardly get to see you and when I do, you’re being an asshat. I wonder if maybe we’re drifting apart. I mean we’ve been together forever and…”
“You HAVE been together forever, Sun.” I cut her off, handing her a plate full of muffin samples. “Taste these, help me decide if we like any of them. You have been together forever, and I think sometimes that means it’s not always sunshine and roses. He’ll get grumpy, you’ll get grumpy. It doesn’t mean you’re breaking up. Growing pains, is all.”
“But what if we grow apart? And since we have been together forever, why aren’t we making any movement towards a more stable commitment?”
“Are you talking marriage, Sun?” I said, playing stupid and popping a piece of muffin in my mouth. I almost lost my train of thought, the muffin was so good.
“Yeah I’m talking marriage. I mean, isn’t that the next step? It’s not like anyone could accuse us of rushing into it.” She snorted.
“I thought Noah wanted to wait until he settled?” I said, trying desperately not to give anything away.
“He did, Lanie. But that was when he was in school. Then when he got out he wanted to wait until he got a steady teaching job, and he has one. I don’t know. I know I sound like a whiner, but I just feel like… I feel like if he’s not ready now, he won’t ever be. I don’t want to lose him.” I saw the tears well up in her eyes, how scared she was, how hurt she was… I wanted to spill then, to erase her fears, but I knew that would ruin the moment later.
“I just think he’s probably stressed, and he’s snapping at you because he is so close to you. I know it seems like a contradiction, but he’s showing this side to you because he knows you’ll be there for him. Just… Give him some space. We’ll have a good old fashion girls night tonight.”
“And you can tell me about your date.” She said, wiping her eyes and smirking at me.
“Was not a date. But I’ll tell you about it.” I relented. “However, first help me make a decision about these muffins. They’re all so good. Which is your favorite?”

While Sunny was tasting her muffins, I glanced at my phone. Blinking light meant I already had a text back, and it took everything I had not to check it right then – but I knew Sunny would question me, and I’d have to wait until I got a private break in the day.

My teeth are trying to kill me

I've been having toothaches on and off for awhile now, but I'm terrified of the dentist. My Mom makes fun of me because I've had a decent amount of surgeries done and am OK with them, but I'm terrified of having work done at the dentist. I don't know - mouth pain just freaks me out. It still shocks me that I had the guts to get my tongue pierced - and I think I only did that because I was mad at my Mom (and my pride overrides my fear a lot of times.) Well, three weeks ago, it got bad. My tooth throbbed all the time, and then I started to swell. I went to google, and it told me it was infected, and to not mess around because a tooth infection can spread to your brain and kill you. I'm afraid of the dentist, but more afraid of death (rightly so, I think) so I went. They told me I needed to get a round of antibiotics, and then have it pulled. So two weeks ago, I went back and got it pulled. Then Monday of this week, on the opposite side of my mouth, another tooth started to hurt. And then the roof of my mouth started to swell. And then I started spiking fevers. I knew what it meant. I knew I shouldn't mess around. So I made an appointment figuring it'd be another round of antibiotics and maybe another extraction. I wondered if I'd have any teeth left by the end of this. Turns out I needed not one, not two, but three teeth pulled - all wisdom teeth, so at least I wouldn't be toothless, but THREE teeth at once? So that's what I did this morning - went in and got them pulled. And I totally cried in front of the dentist. To be honest, the shots hurt way worse than when he was actually pulling - though a bottom tooth was stuck and the way he had to wiggle to get it out really freaked me out. However, now it hurts. And I'm drugged (so excuse this post if it's really weirdly written). Thank Jesus for drugs. I'm hoping this is the end of the teeth problem. How are all of you? Also, I wanted to say that I'm sorry if the format of postings have been weird. Blogger changed their layout since I've last written, and I used to be able to copy and past what I wrote and blogger would paste it like I had copied it, but now I have to go in and manually input breaks and stuff, and I'm still trying to figure out what looks normal and what looks weird.

Trying too hard

“What? He said, glancing over at her.
“Our waitress. I think she likes you.”
“What makes you say that?” He asked, looking in her direction. She, of course, was no longer looking at him, making me look crazy.
“Well, I don’t have a lot of experience in that area, but she was sending off some pretty strong vibes. And,” I continued, nodding in her direction, “she keeps looking at you.”
He glanced at her briefly and then back at me. “Why don’t you have a lot of experience in that area?” He asked, catching me off guard. The waitress was pretty cute, I expected him to continue on about her.
I shrugged. “I’ve never really had a boyfriend. I’m not sure I’ve even really been on an actual date.”
“Really?” He said, looking surprised. “Why not?”
“Well.” I said, pausing as the waitress set my drink in front of me. “This might make me sound totally full of myself, but nobody’s really caught my interest. I mean not in high school at least. When I was at school there were a few group dates, I guess. Guys I liked. But then I came back here and it was back to the same group, so.”
“And what does it take to catch your interest?” He asked, leaning back and smiling. Tingles ran up my arms.
I laughed nervously. “I don’t think it’s particularly hard. It’s just I’ve been here my whole life and I know everyone and none of us seem to click in that way. I don’t really get the chance to meet new people much, and my work schedule is crazy so even if I did, I’m not sure a guy would want to deal with that.”
“So you’ve never had a boyfriend… Does that mean you’re a virgin?” He asked. Then, I saw him blush. “Sorry, you don’t have to answer that, that’s really personal, sometimes I don’t think before I speak.”
I laughed again, this time for real. “I have that problem too. No, I’m not. Though I’m not highly experienced in that area either.” I said, smirking.

The waitress came back with our food, setting down an extra plate of fried pickles.
“There was extra in the kitchen. I thought you guys might want it, or else we just have to throw it out. I know I love a good pickle.” She said, looking suggestively at John.

I couldn’t help myself, a giggle escaped my throat. The waitress shot me a dirty look.
“Uh, thanks.” John said, and the waitress smiled at him and walked away.
“See?” I said. “She wants your pickle.”
Now it was his turn to laugh, and I watched as that one dimple I loved so much popped up on his face.
“She’s cute.” I added.
“Lots of girls are cute. She’s trying way too hard.”
“I thought guys liked that, means less work for them.”
He snorted. “I see you think highly of us men.”
I shrugged, taking a pickle and biting into it. “I told you, I don’t have much experience with men. I base all of what I know on TV and romantic comedies.”
“Oh.” He moaned, dramatically throwing his head into his hands. “We’re doomed!” Then he popped back up and smiled at me, swiping one of my sour kraut balls. “What’s your favorite romantic comedy then?”
“Hmm…” I thought for a moment. “I don’t know if it’s necessarily considered a comedy, but my favorite is Pretty Woman. Though, I also think that it’s everything that’s wrong with how women view relationships.”
“Elaborate.” He said, taking a sip of his drink.
“Well. I don’t know if you’ve seen it, but it’s a woman in a desperate, bad situation. She happens to meet a rich, charming man, who tells her he isn’t going to fall in love with her. However, by the end of the movie, after he’s done all these elaborately romantic things, he of course does fall in love with her. I mean, obviously women don’t think a man is going to come and shower her with money to buy clothes and take her in his personal plane to the opera, but I do think a lot of woman expect that with enough time, they can change a man and make him fall in love with her, and they do often expect an unrealistic level of romance.”
“And you don’t believe that?” He asked, eyeing me evenly.
“Mmm. No. Not really. I mean falling in love does take time, but I don’t think anyone can change anyone else. The person has to want to change. And I think if I met a man and he told me he wasn’t interested in a relationship, I wouldn’t then expect that with enough time, I could wear him down. Nor would I really want to. To be honest, romantic comedies are fun to watch, but I don’t really believe in romance.”
“How can you say you don’t believe in it when you haven’t had it?”

I suddenly was embarrassed, being so open and monopolizing the conversation so much. I opened my mouth and then closed it quickly, unsure of how to proceed.

“C’mon now, don’t back down now.” He said, prodding me with another one of his easy smiles.
“I don’t know. I mean I guess I can’t say I don’t believe in it, but I guess I don’t believe… I don’t know how to word it really. I think…” I was stumbling now, but decided to forge ahead. “I think the nice thing about romance is that it’s supposed to be unexpected. A surprise. Doing something nice for the person you love to show that you appreciate them or thinking about them. But now-a-days, in our culture, it’s not a surprise at all. We schedule holidays for it, it’s expected on anniversaries, and it’s also become such a contest. God, I’m going to sound so cheesy saying this, but I think I’d rather take something as simple as my boyfriend slipping a love note into my pocket on a random Wednesday then him planning a hot air balloon ride at sunrise with champagne on our anniversary. I’d just want to know it was done because he wanted to do it, not because he felt like he had too. I’d want to know the action was really thought about and not some cliché. But again, I don’t really have a lot of experience, so maybe I’m way off base.”

He watched me for a minute, and I felt myself holding my breath, nervous to hear what he was going to say.
“You surprise me, Lanie.” Was what he finally said.
“In a good way, or a bad way?” I asked, and then I wish I hadn’t – I didn’t really want to know if it was bad.
“Good. I wouldn’t still be here if it was bad.” He said, smiling.

From there on out, our conversation was both easier and lighter. John told me about his hometown in Utah, about his mother and sister. I spoke a little about my family life, but not too much. My Uncle was such a big part of that, and it was hard to talk about. I was so used to people automatically knowing my story, that I had no idea when to tell a person (friend or boyfriend) about it. I suppose he didn’t HAVE to know, but it was such an odd idea to think about someone not knowing that about me. But, I did know that tonight wasn’t the right time, and so I tried to deflect any family questions back on to him.

“Another drink?” He asked as I took the last sip of mine.
I shook my head. “I have to drive home, and work early tomorrow. I should get going.”
He nodded and signaled to the waitress, who bounced over like an over eager puppy.
“Here you go.” She said, guessing what he needed and handed him the check.
“I’ll take it.” I said reaching for it.
The waitress looked panicked and John looked amused, but waved me off.
“I’ve got it, Mel.” He answered, and the waitress looked oddly relieved and walked away.
“At least let me pay for my half. Or leave the tip.” I protested.
He ignored me and reached for his wallet. He opened the booklet, glanced at the check, and I watched as a look of annoyance crossed his face and clouded his eyes.
“What?” I asked, watching him roll his eyes. “Did they mess up the check?”
“No. It’s nothing.” He said, placing money in and shutting it. “Ready? I’ll walk you to your car.”

We stood and he placed his hand on my lower back, lightly guiding me out of the restaurant. I had to fight the urge not to shiver as chills ran up my back – there’d be no way to explain them on a night as warm as this one.

“Thanks for coming out with me tonight. It was nice getting to know you better.” He said as we stood outside my car.
“Thanks for asking me. It was fun. Are you going to tell me what that eye roll in there was all about?”
He laughed. “Not going to let that go, huh?”
“I’m not really one to let things go.” I answered.
“Good to know.” He exhaled and ran his hand through his hair, causing it to stick up in the front. I wanted to run my hands through it, but kept them glued to my side. “She just left her number on the check.”
“Aww. C’mon now, that’s kind of cute. You should go and get it, call her sometime.”
“No. I’m good. It’s pretty ballsy and borderline rude to be that aggressive when she didn’t know if you and I were together or what. It’s a turn off for me when people try that hard.”
“Good to know.” I said, using his words from earlier.
“Anyway,” he said, stepping forward to wrap me in a hug. “I’ll see you Friday?”
“Yeah.” I said, his smell making me dizzy. “Friday.”

The boys!

I'm assuming most of you have followed me over from the old blog (and thank you for doing that!) I used to share pictures and stories of the boys, and so I'd like to do that again (and no, it won't replace normal posts)

Eli will be two end of November. He's walking and talking a little (his favorite words are spiderman and batman.) His reflux is gone, thank goodness, and we're working on moving him out of our bed into his own (we co-slept since he was born practically.) We call him our spider goat monkey baby. The monkey part because he climbs everything, the spider part because again, he climbs everything and we joke he'd probably could climb a flat wall like a spider if he wanted, and the goat part is because he eats EVERYTHING (and tries to eat several non-food items) He's blue eyed just like his big brother, and his has the cutest curly hair.





Cayden, believe it or not, will be FOUR!!! End of September. For some reason with Eli I see view him as my baby (maybe because he's so much smaller than Cayden still.) Cayden, however, is the opposite, and to me he grows so quickly. He starts preschool on September 5th, which is insane. He's my talker - he talks non-stop, and he's so smart (and often times that gets him in to trouble.) He makes me laugh and is such a clown. I post things on my facebook page that I call Caydenisms - just crazy things he says. I can't remember any of the top of my head (probably because it's late) but I'll have to write some here sometime. He loves to be read to, and he's crazy active. He loves it when I let him cook. He is all boy and has an insane amount of energy. He is superhero obsessed, especially batman.



and then here they both are:

Beer and balls

I didn’t have much time to dwell on my pre-teen girl jitters or even work on the rest of my to-do list because lunch rolled upon us and we got slammed – and it caught us off guard. We had usually had a steady stream, and it always picked up a little – kids sneaking away from school, mom’s stopping to give their kids a treat, a few business people. But apparently one of the businesses had a business lunch and decided to bring everyone here. We were going through pizza’s like crazy, and so while normally I also used the lull between lunch and dinner to get caught up, I was busy helping prep more to get us caught up for lunch. By the end of it, I was exhausted and slumped down at my desk to try to muddle through making the rest of the schedule.

Sunny followed right behind me.

“I called Matt and he says he can meet tomorrow night to discuss plans.”

I swiveled slowly in my chair to face her. “A, when did you get time to call him, and b, didn’t I say I’d do it?”

“It takes what, five seconds to make a phone call? And I know you said you’d call him. But you didn’t so I did.”

“I didn’t because we got slammed. You would know that if you were in helping instead of making phone calls.” I cracked.

“Hey, I was helping too – but I had to pee. A girl can multitask, you know.”

“Oh gross.” I said, turning back to my desk.

“So tomorrow – can you do it?”

“Yes.” I answered, then remembered. “Oh, shit. Maybe. What time?”

“Wait, why does the time matter? Do you actually have plans?”

“Yes, I actually do.” I knew what question was coming next, and I wasn’t quite sure how to handle it.

“Who are you going out with?” She asked, pushing her chair off her desk so she shot over to me.

“I’d tell you it’s none of your business – because it’s not – but I know that won’t deter you from pestering the crap out of me. John.”

“John?” She squealed, her eyebrows shooting up. “Like, Noah’s John? John-his-dimple-make-you-stupid John?”

I just nodded.

“How did THAT come about?” “Sunny, some of us actually have work to do…”

She shot me a look.

“I bumped into him on Sunday. He left me a message today saying he heard about the tickets Noah won and wanted to know if I wanted to hang out before we went.”

“So he asked you out on a date?” Sunny clapped her hands together.

“I don’t know if it’s a date, Sun. I’m just meeting him for a drink. He and I have been sorta-friends for such a long time he probably just want to try to become real friends.”

“Whatever.” She said waving her hands. “What are you going to wear? Oooh, let’s go shopping tonight!”

“I’m dead tired Sunny, and I still have work to do.”

“Then I’ll go shopping for you. I’ll reschedule Matt. See you at home, toots!”

Letting Sunny go shopping for me was a bad decision, though I did realize that I didn’t really have a say in the matter. I only became more worried when she said she wouldn’t let me see what she had gotten until it was time to get dressed, and that night when I opened the bad after my shower, my worries were confirmed.

“SUNSHINE!” I yelled. “I am not wearing this!” I yelled, storming out into the living room. I hadn’t realized Noah was also there, and they were both cuddled on the couch.

“What’s wrong with it?” She asked.

“You can see my ass in this skirt.” I said, turning around to show her.

“You cannot.” She said. Even without looking at her, I knew she was rolling her eyes.

“Oh yeah, you can’t. Until I move.” I said sarcastically. I turned back around. “Noah, tell her this is to short.” I whined.

“It is a little short Sunny.” He said, but his voice was neutral.

“I own that skirt! You never said it was too short on me.”

“Lanie is taller than you…” He said, trying to recover.

“Sunny, I know you’re just trying to help. But this isn’t a date, and it also isn’t me. We’re just hanging out and I’m going to come all tarted up and John’s going to get the wrong impression.” I said, tugging on the bottom of the skirt as if I could make it longer.

“Again, I own this skirt, so let’s refrain from using words like ‘tarted up.’ Skip the skirt, wear jeans, but keep the top. Then you’re half you and half hot.” She said, winking at me.

“Hot is not a word I’d use to describe myself.” I said as I walked back to my room to change.

“Wear your hair down!” She called in reply.

I know Sunny’s and my relationship might seem a little weird – we nagged and bickered with each other all the time, and from the outside looking in at times it may seem as if one of us were bossing the other around. I viewed it more as a sister type relationship. We did bicker, we teased each other, insulted each other, and argued. However, when it came down to it, I knew Sunny just wanted the best for me and I wanted the best for her. We seemed to divide areas of expertise. I let Sunny boss me around in fashion and I tended to boss her around when it came to business. Even though Sunny had only one real relationship in her life, she had more experience than me in that area, so I also tended to let her boss me around there – which is why I listened to her when I went back to my room to change.

“Do I look alright?” I asked, coming back out into the living room. Sunny had picked out a teal halter top that looked great against my tan skin. I paired it with a pair of denim capris that were ripped in the thighs. Because I knew it would make Sunny happy, I also slipped on a pair of wedges instead of my normal tennis shoes.

“I approve. Go get ‘em tiger.” She said winking at me.

“Oh whatever.” I said, scooping up my keys.

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” Noah laughed as I shut the door.

I tried not to let myself be nervous. I believed what I told Sunny – that this was not a date. Still, not knowing exactly what it was made me nervous. How was I supposed to act? And what if we didn’t have anything to say to each other? I hated meeting new people, which is why I had the same friends I had known pretty much my whole life, and why Sunny was the person I sent out if we needed to make new business contacts.

I pulled up to Barley’s – a local bar and grill, and wished I knew what kind of car John drove so I would know if he was there or not. I waited a minute, then shut off the car and walked in.

I spotted him right away – sitting at the bar. He was wearing a short sleeved button up – opened at the top to reveal a white shirt peeking out from underneath, and khaki shorts. He saw me, smiled, and got up to walk over to me.

“Hey, you look nice.” He said, leaning in for a hug.

“Thanks. You too.”

“Are you hungry? I know it’s late.”

“I am, actually, a little. Want to grab a table?”

“Sure.” He answered, waving down a waitress who grabbed us some menus and took us to a table in the back corner.

We were quiet for a moment, studying the menu, even though I already knew what I wanted – sour kraut balls. Barley’s had amazing sour kraut balls. Then another waitress came over, and I noticed her eyes lingered on John. He didn’t seem to notice though, and gave his order and then handed the menu back. I ordered a drink and the sour kraut balls and leaned back to glance around.

“Have you been here before?” He asked.

“Yeah, I used to come all the time, when I was younger.” I left out the fact that it was one of my Uncle’s favorite places. I didn’t want to go in to that tonight.

And then what I had worried about happened… We stalled. I just couldn’t think of a damn thing to say to him, and he was drumming his fingers on the table, looking around, and probably regretting asking me to come out at all. I glanced around as well, hoping to find anything to spark conversation. Then I saw our waitress, at the bar, staring at John still.

“I think our waitress has the hots for you.” I blurted out, and then wanted to kick myself. Who says that sort of thing on a maybe sort of date?

One last thing and then I'll stop rambling.

Sorry for the multiple posts, but if you haven't been here since last week, last week's post is up, and this week's post is below this one. I was going to wait until later tomorrow to post it, but my internet has been spotting again, and so I didn't want to lose it and not be able to post, and I don't trust scheduling things since sometimes they don't post when they're supposed to. So, recap - if you haven't been back since last week, two new posts are up, plus a post explaining that this thursday I'm getting my tooth pulled and Monday's post might be late if I'm in a fuck ton of pain, which I'm hoping that I won't be, unless I can get a post done before Thursday :-) And for those of you who asked, I commented but in case you missed it, yes, that Matt i the old Matt. I told you he'd be back :-)

Sunshine and bleeding hearts

I sat down in my office, dying to look at my phone to see if John had responded yet. I reached for the drawer, and then the door slammed open, nearly giving me a heart attack.

“Hey! I’m back. Did you miss me?” Sunny called, bounding in, a beam of a smile on her face.

“You scared me! I didn’t think you’d be back this early.” I said, pulling my hand back from thr drawer and placing it on my wildly beating heart.

“You didn’t get my message? I said I’d be back before lunch.” She paused for a moment, and studied my face. “What are you up to? You look like you’ve been caught with your hand in the cookie jar.”

“I did get your message. It’s just that you’re on Sunny time, and before lunch could mean four o’clock. And I’m not up to anything, I was getting to my to-do list before going out to help Maurice with the pizza.”

“You and your lists.” She said, rolling her eyes as she crossed the room to sit down at her desks. She wiggled the mouse and her computer came to life.

“I know, I know, but you know if I don’t write it down, I don’t remember it, and then the next thing I know, the electricity is getting turned off because I forgot to pay it.”

“I remember that. In the middle of the softball dinner we were hosting. What a fun night.”

I laughed as I recalled my earlier days of business management. “It was kind of fun.” I admitted.

I opened my drawer and ignored my phone. I saw the blinking light indicating I had some sort of message, but I didn’t want to look. Sunny could read me like a book, and I didn’t want her knowing anything was going on. I reached for my to-do list and my contact book instead.

“Rose was supposed to work tonight but called off last night. I guess her mom, like, made her a doctors appointment?” I said, mimicking her, knowing Sunny would laugh – and she did. “Gabby stopped in this morning for breakfast and offered to cover, so we’re good there.” I said, marking the “find a replacement” note off my sheet.

“Gabby’s a good worker.” Sunny said. “Hey, Noah won tickets to the pier and wants to go Sunday. Wanna go?”

“I dunno.” I said, playing stupid. “You know me and amusement parks. Beside, who will cover both of us?”

“Jooooohn’s going.” Sunny said, teasing me, knowing how I acted around him.

“That still doesn’t change the fact that I hate amusement parks and we both can’t leave at the same time.”

“We both left yesterday and the store is still standing. You know Mona and Maurice are always bugging us both to take time off and trust them. And, we should. You’re going to burn yourself out Lanie. There are plenty of kids staffed to help them, we close early on Sunday’s anyway, and I know it’s hard to believe, but the shop isn’t as hard to manage as it was before. Besides, if you don’t come then Noah is just going to invite one of his guy friends and I’ll be stuck listening to boy talk all day long.” She mock pouted.

“Fine.” I caved. “But consider this your birthday present. AND I’m not riding anything, so don’t even ask.” I paused for a moment. “You know Sun, we really should consider hiring a few more people. The Mo’s work really hard for us – like they get even less time off than we do.”

“That’s because even when it’s their day off they still come in. This is their world.”

“I know, but still. It’d be nice to get a few more grown up’s in here. Officially promote the Mo’s to managers and be able to switch days off with them – even if they use their days off to come in here. And we could make more money if we were able to deliver pizza’s during lunch. Just two or three more bodies. College students maybe?” I asked.

She nodded. “You better give heads up to Mona, you know how she gets, but I’ll work on putting together a help wanted ad, I can post it on craigslist.”

I glanced back down at my to-do list. “Oh, hey. Some guy named Matt called me. What did you tell him we’d do for him?” I asked, trying to keep the suspicion out of my voice, but knowing it was there. Slice of life had done several volunteer projects before, but we hadn’t done much lately because… Well, because even after all this time, I was still trying to get a grip on things and I wasn’t comfortable doing too much. Sure, we did some fundraisers and such, but that was the extend. However, Sunny was always trying to volunteer us for something. Bless her bleeding heart, but it did sometimes get annoying when I had to play the bad guy and turn people down.

“Oh, Matt.” She said, smiling and turning towards me. “He’s super cute, super tall, friend of Noah’s from school. Anyway, he works with inner city kids – which is totally adorable…”

“Sunny, get to the point.” I reprimanded. Sunny was also always on the hunt to fix me up and tended to go on and on about how cute a guy was or his good qualities.

“OK, geez. He works with inner city kids and talked about how they were doing a healthy cooking class and he wanted to teach them that good food could be healthy. I mentioned that we make several healthy pizzas and how we own the business. He was impressed because we were so young and wanted to know if he could bring some of his kids over to talk to us about running a business and to show them how to cook some healthy stuff.”

I sighed. Loudly.

“Oh come on Lanie.” Sunny scolded. “It’d be like, one night, all we would be out is the cost of the ingredients which we could write off anyway, and some time. We’d be doing a good thing. Helping people.”

“I’ll talk to him, but I’m not making any promises. Time is scarce as it is.”

“I figured we could do it on a Sunday evening, after we closed. I was thinking it would be fun if we had it once a week for like a month maybe, and at the end had them come up with their own healthy pizza recipe contest. We could come up with some little prize and maybe even feature their pizza on the menu and…”

“So we went from one night to four nights, and from just the cost of ingredients to coming up with a prize?” I asked. I was shaking my head but also smiling. “Get out of my office, your heart is bleeding all over my floor.” I joked.

“Oh whatever.” She said, closing down her computer. “You’ll call him back and tell him yes, correct?”

“Yes Sunny. But let’s just commit to one night for right now. These kids could think cooking is totally stupid and I’m not wasting my time on kids who aren’t interested. We’ll gauge their reactions and then maybe turn it into something. If only a few kids are interested maybe we could set up some sort of mentoring thing.”

“You know some of Noah’s students are pen pals with some of his? To show how they can live so close to each other but be so different, and yet the same too? Really neat program. Hey, maybe at the end of this we can do a pizza party and have the groups meet and our kids could cook and…” Sunny was taking off again.

“Sunny. Go help Maurice.” I said, cutting her off.

“Aye aye, Captain.” She said, saluting me and walking towards the door.

“And hey, Sunny?” I asked, and she stopped at the door to look at me. “Clear Sunday’s day off with the Mo’s. And do me a favor and ask them if they have a number for a Rachel at their church? She called this morning about baking goods for breakfast but didn’t leave any contact info.”

She nodded and turned on her heel to walk out. I shook my head and chuckled. Sunny’s bleeding heart was what got her into business with me, I know. She couldn’t stand to see me in so much pain at the thought of losing it. I loved her for it, but I also knew that it got her walked on often, and I had to keep her reigned in sometimes.

I knew I was supposed to work on the schedules, and I opened up the spreadsheet on my computer to plug in the names, pulling out the list of requested day’s off Mona gave me. I also pulled out my to do list and added “talk to the Mo’s about hiring lunch time help” at the bottom. Then I saw the note to text John, and realized I still hadn’t had a chance to check my messages. I quickly pulled out my phone.

John: Are you open tonight?

Tonight? I felt the nerves jumble in my stomach, and once more wished for someone to talk to about all of this. I had never really been on a date. This was a date, wasn’t it? Maybe not, but he was definitely flirting with me, so if anything it was like, a pre-date if such a thing existed. I could go out with him tonight, but Sunny had just got home and I knew she’d want to hang out, and in the back of my mind I think I had read in some women’s magazine that you weren’t supposed to make plans for the same day – it made you seem too available.

Can’t tonight, have plans. Tomorrow work for you? Later – around nine?

I set my phone down and got to work on the schedule, but not even two minutes later it was buzzing on my desk.

John: Sounds good. Meet you at Barleys?

I resisted the urge to squeal like a pre-teen girl.

New post below

Internet is back up for now. Hopefully it stays that way! Here's how I'm hoping this week will go - this is technically last weeks post. I'm hoping by Wednesday to have this weeks post up, and then we will be back on track. I'm also hoping to have next week's post done. If not, it *might* be late. I have a broken tooth that ended up getting infected (and it hurts like a mother) They're pulling it on Thursday. I'm terrified, because I don't do dentists (which is why I hadn't gotten it fixed, which is why it got infected) I'm hoping it won't hurt and I'll be fine. But, I'm also being realistic and I might be in a lot of pain and if that's the case I'll hopefully be (legally) drugged, so if I don't get it done before that, it might be late. I know you guys are cool with it, I just want to let you know what's going on. And I do think I am blogging cursed, lol. I don't seem to have as many issues until I start writing and then it's like the universe conspires against me. BUT, my ankle feels much better, my brother is doing much better (quit smoking, at least so far, which is awesome!!) so hopefully we get this tooth taken care of and we'll be good. If that's the case then starting next week I'm also hoping to pick up a whatever wednesday and show you how much the boys have grown (Cayden will be 4!!! in less than two months and starting preschool and Eli will be 2 in 4 months!)

Breakfast Pizza and to-do lists

The next morning I woke up feeling refreshed, and not as raw as I had the night before. I didn’t bother showering since I had the night before, I just pulled my hair back in a ponytail, threw on one of the many slice of life tee’s I had acquired throughout the years, and an old pair of jeans. Next came socks, tennis shoes, and I grabbed a hat on my way out the door. Not fancy at all, unless I had a meeting, which happened rarely. Now that the business was more under control, I tended to be less hands on and more in the office, but I did jump in from time to time making pizza’s or bussing tables, and it was messy business.

I then hopped on my bike and biked to work. I did own a car, and I did occasionally drive, when it was raining or cold, or if I had errands to run during or after work. Slice wasn’t that far away from my apartment (to be honest, nothing in this town was that far away.) I figured biking got me where I needed to go while also getting me exercise, and I also did some good for the environment.

I was at work by seven thirty, which was a little late. Maurice had suggested a few weeks ago that we start offering a breakfast pizza along with juice and coffee, and it had actually been a decent hit. We were still working out some of the kinks and working on pizza toppings, as well as trying to find an outside source to bake a few muffins to sell but overall we were pulling in some extra money and that was always nice. Still, I liked to be there by seven to open, but after the night I had last night cut myself a break. I knew the Mo’s could handle it. They always did.

“Morning Mona!” I called upon entering through the back doorafter locking my bike.

“Mel! Sleep in this morning?” She said, popping her head through the window that separated the kitchen from the dining room.

“Yeah, sorry, I would have called…” I trailed off as she waved a hand.

“You need a break. You look much better, more rested. Your messages are blinking in your office, and I left all the requests for days off on your desk, but come out and have some of this egg and bacon pizza Maurice made up this morning.”

I pushed through the door into the dining room and smiled at several of our regulars. We weren’t too busy yet, but our big rush happened closer to eight – kids walking to school. It trickled off by nine and by nine thirty we were dead until the lunch rush, which was fine as it gave the Mo’s time to prep and me time to do office work. We didn’t do specific pizzas or deliveries during lunch, except in the summertime, because only Sunny, Mona, Maurice and I worked lunches. It was something I was hoping to change soon, but for now the in store buffet worked for us. (It was a bummer though, to turn down catering jobs because we just didn’t have the manpower to prep them and deliver them.)

“Where’s Maurice?” I asked, coming to snag a slice and grabbing an apple juice from the cooler.

“The tenant upstairs says his faucet is dripping. He went up to take a look.”

I hadn’t wanted to rent out my Uncle’s apartment, but after Sunny bought out Steph, Steph moved out all of my Uncle’s belongings. And then it just sat there, empty. I’d go up there from time to time, to sit and remember, but other than that it didn’t get used. One day while going over the books, Sunny suggested that we move in there in order to save on the rent, and I balked. There was just no way that the apartment could ever be mine – it was my Uncle’s. Sunny then suggested we rent it out, in order to make extra money. I balked at that too and actually got a little pissed off. But, after cooling off, I realized that Sunny had put herself out there to make sure that the biggest piece of my Uncle stayed with us. The apartment was empty now. So I gave it up, under the condition that it was Sunny’s territory. She found the tenant, she dealt with them. I couldn’t stand to see someone else take it over, and so I hadn’t been up there since we rented it out.

“I’m going to check my messages before we get too busy. Holler if you need me, OK?” I said, heading back towards my office. Mona waved me off again and went to start more coffee.

I settled into my chair, taking another bite of pizza, and picked up my phone.

“You have five unheard messages.” The lady stated. “First unheard message…”

“Hey Lanie, it’s Sunny. I didn’t want to bother you at home on your night off, so I thought I’d call you here. Mom’s doing well, so I’ll be in for a little bit tomorrow probably around lunch and then home tomorrow night. We’ll do dinner. Oh! And I talked to one of Noah’s teacher friends about the business. He’ll be giving you a call, his name is Matt.”

“Giving me a call about what?” I asked, even though I knew she wouldn’t answer. I hit seven to delete.

“Hi, my name is Matt and I’m a friend of Noah and Sunny’s. I work with inner city kids in Chicago and was talking to Sunny about my program and she thought you guys might like to team up with us for a project – I can explain more if you’d like to give me a call whenever you have time.” He then listed his work and home numbers which I quickly scribbled on my planner.

“Oh Sunny, what have you gotten us into now?” I mumbled, again to nobody. I hit nine to save this time, just in case I lost his numbers which I did have a habit of doing.

“Hi, Melanie… It’s um, Rose? Thomas? I am scheduled to work tomorrow evening but my Mom just told me I have a doctors appointment and I won’t be able to make it? I’m sorry? I’ll be there on Tuesday?”

Melanie. Sweet, quiet girl, but whenever she did talk she talked in questions and drove me nuts. It also drove me nuts when the kids didn’t give any notice to calling off, but that was what you dealt with when you employed kids…

“I sound like I’m ancient…” I said out loud to myself as I deleted this message too.

“Hi Melanie, this Rachel and I go to church with Mona and Maurice. They told me you were looking for someone to make some baked goods for the pizza shop in the morning? My kids recently went back to school and I’m feeling the empty nest and well… I’m rambling. If you’re interested, please call me back and we can arrange a time where I could drop by some samples. Thanks!”

Sounds good… Only she left no number… I picked up my pen, expecting the next message to be her as well, realizing she forgotten to leave the number. I took a sip of juice with my other hand and almost spit it out when I heard the voice on other end.

“Lanie, it’s John. I realized I didn’t have your home phone number, so I called the shop. Hope you don’t mind. Uh, anyway, it was nice talking to you, I realize I don’t really know you very well and we’re probably going to be spending a lot of time together coming up so, I thought it might be a good idea… I know we have plans Friday but I wondered if maybe you wanted to get a drink before then? Let me know.” And then he left his number.

I replayed the message one more time, writing down his number and then drawing a little doodle around it while trying to figure out what to do. Did I call him? Text him? I was no good at these sorts of things. I had never really had a boyfriend, and I couldn’t talk to Sunny or else she would question why John and I had been talking anyway.

I took a sticky note and wrote down what I needed to do when I came back after the breakfast rush:
1. Text employees, see if anyone can cover Rose 2. Confirm delivery 3. Call Steph? I wrote that one and then scratched it out. I couldn’t get love advice from Steph. 4. Get more female friends Ha, I crack myself up. 5. Call Matt back 6. Text John.

I had decided that while less personal, texting was my safer bet. I could blame it on being busy, and I’d have more time to think about my replies. This way my mouth couldn’t say anything stupid before my brain had a chance to check it. In fact, I was going to do it right now before I had a chance to chicken out…

John – got your msg. Headed into the lunch rush so I can’t call but drinks sound good. Let me know when you’re free and we’ll see what we can work out :-)

Then, so I couldn’t obsess over whether or not he had texted me back yet, I left my phone in the desk drawer on top of my to do list while I went out front to help with the breakfast rush.

cursed

Im blogging cursed, I think. I know I said a post would be up yesterday. I haven infected tooth that has been a huge pain, I finally got in to the dentist and meds yesterday. Came home and banged out a post and planned to put it up and... My internet is down. Its still down today. We are hoping its up by Monday. If not, I will be at my moms house Tuesday and will post both posts then using her wifi. Im sorry, and im sorry for typos, typing on my phone is a pain in the ass.