That's what I'm afraid of

(My bad! I went to run errands and completely forgot to post this until just now. Sorry!) I was standing in the middle of Slice of Life when there was a huge bang! The building shook and I heard some of the pans in the back rattle and clang to the ground. There was another bang and one of the walls started to break. I was frozen in the spot, confused. I couldn’t figure out what was happening or what to do. I heard someone – Matt maybe? Calling my name. There was one more bang and…

I woke up with a start. I was at home, on the couch – not at the shop. The banging was coming from the front door. I rubbed my eyes and slowly sat up. My body was sore – a combination of sleeping on the sofa and dancing the night before. My mouth was dry, my hair was a mess, and I was so groggy. I shuffled over to the door and opened it up, planning on giving the person on the other side a piece of my mind. I hadn’t been able to fall asleep until about five am – every noise in the apartment caused my eyes to open and my body to freak out. It was the first time I had been scared in this place – and I really had had no reason to be.

“Oh wow.” Matt said, hiding a smirk. “Rough night? I didn’t think you drank that much.”

“Shut up.” I mumbled. “What are you doing here?”

“I said I’d take you to pick up Sunny’s car, remember? I tried to call but your phone was off.”

“It must have died.” I mumbled. It was cold, and I pulled Matt’s jacket tighter around me.

…Matt’s jacket. Fuck. I had put in on last night right before I had fallen asleep. I had been cold and a little lonely and now… How was I supposed to explain why I was wearing it? Should I just try to take it off before he noticed? “Like my jacket, huh?” He said with a smirk.

Too late.

“I put it back on when I answered the door.” I lied. It didn’t make much sense, but oh well. “Come inside. It’s freezing. Have you eaten?” I said. I shrugged off his jacket and handed it back to him.

“I actually brought you breakfast.” He said, handing me a bag. “There’s a place around the corner that makes the best bagels.”

“Thanks.” I said, and got to work slicing and toasting. Matt sat at the counter, watching me. It reminded me of when I sat watching John make me dinner. I shook my head, hard.

“You alright?” Matt asked, looking at me with his head cocked.

“I’m good.” I said, setting a plate down in front of him and turning to get some orange juice. “I just… Long night.”

“Why’s that? I mean just the John stuff?”

“Yeah. And I’m not really used to being here alone. It creeped me out a little.”

Matt nodded. “After Ella left for that job, I was living in the house alone. It wasn’t that I was scared, but being alone in the house at night, when everything was quiet, made me feel so… Lonely. And small. I don’t know. It sounds stupid to say now.”

“No. I get it. That was it. Anyway, I thought about maybe getting another roommate, but.. I don’t know. I feel a little too old for a roomie. It doesn’t matter. My cousin is actually randomly coming into town so she’s staying with me for a bit. Maybe it’ll help me ease into living alone again. I used to like living alone.” I looked away, feeling tears start to crawl up the back of my throat and make their way to my eyes. I swallowed hard. “Hey, speaking about my cousin, you care if she comes later?”

“No. More the merrier. It’ll make it less of a sausage fest.”

“Well.” I said, standing and brushing the crumbs off the front of my shirt. “I’ll get dressed and we’ll go. Cool?”

“Yeah.” Matt said. Our eyes met, and for a moment I don’t think it was physically possible to move. A beat passed, then another, and finally one of us, I’m not sure who, blinked, and the moment was gone.

“Clothes.” I said, awkwardly. “I’ll be right back.”



I was back at home, Sunny’s car safe in our parking lot, with no more awkward moments from Matt. I was waiting on Stephanie to show, but honestly I was half hoping that she wouldn’t want to go to Matt’s. I wasn’t sure what was going on with him and I, but I knew it wasn’t good. He didn’t date, and I wasn’t sure if I had real feelings for him or if I was just looking for a replacement for John. I didn’t want to use him like that.

When she knocked on the door, I found myself more nervous than I expected to be. I opened the door and I couldn’t help it, my mouth dropped open.

Steph had always been cute. But it was in a little girl type of way. It’s not like her Dad made her dress in a way, or was strict, it’s just that Steph looked like a little girl. She was short, and small, and had young features. However, she didn’t look so young anymore. She was in boots that had at least a four inch heel on them that made her legs look longer than they actually were, jeans that were tight and hugged curves I hadn’t realized she had had, and I couldn’t see what was on under her coat, but it was form fitting, and again, showed off curves. She had her hair curly – which was the same as usual, except instead of it being a puff ball of frizz, it was controlled. And her makeup – she had never worn make up before, but now her eyes were outlined, making them look bigger and… Well, sexy.

“Wow!” I said, unable to help myself. “You look great!”

“You don’t look so bad either. Can I come in? It’s kind of cold out here.”

“Oh sure. I’m sorry.” I said, moving aside to allow her to get by. She tugged a huge suitcase after her, which make my eyebrows jump. It looked like more than a few days worth of stuff. “Go ahead and set your stuff in Sunny’s room. You know where it is.” I said.

“The place looks great, Melanie.” She said, coming back from Sunny’s old room and sitting on the sofa. “Thanks so much for letting me stay here.”

“No problem. But I’m not sure what’s going on?”

She waved her hand. “Boy troubles. You know. We broke up, I wanted to get away, had some vacation time, thought I’d swing by and check things out. No biggie.”

“Oh.” I said, unsure of what else to say. I hadn't even known she had been seeing anyone. We sat in silence for a few moments, the clock making the only sound between us. I suddenly as rethinking my position on Matt’s party – anything to have more people around us. “What do you want to do? You feel like going out?”

“Sure, what did you have in mind?”



That’s how we ended up at Matt’s. Call me fickle, but the second we knocked on the door, I wanted to turn around and leave. Steph had changed into what she called more “sporty” gear, and I had decided to follow suit, pulling out my old Ohio State jersey (even though I wasn’t sure what game we were watching, exactly, I figured I’d rock the one sports team we had.) However Steph made sporty look sexy, where as I made sporty look like your 12 year old little sister who was still in her tom-boy phase. Matt hadn’t said to bring anything, but I had swung by the shop and threw a few pizzas together and picked up some beer. I was holding the pizzas awkwardly, while Steph only carried the beer. It figured, she looked like a hot chick from a beer commercial.

Matt threw open the door. “Hey! You made it.” He took the pizza from me. “And you brought food, awesome. Is this the cousin?” He asked, looking at Steph. I watched his eyes take her in, and tried not to crawl out of my skin.

“I’m the cousin!” She said. “We come bearing pizza and beer!”

“Awesome. Come on in and meet everyone.”

Matt threw a lot of names at me quickly, and I didn’t take any of them in. They were all men, all around Matt’s age, but a few older. The TV was on and too loud, and though I usually did enjoy basketball when I watched it before, I couldn’t stop watching Stephanie.

She worked the party easily. Mingling. She did not stick to my side, and instead floated around, introducing herself, talking, and laughing. This stuff was always so easy for her – she was always able to make new friends easily and fit in quickly. I would be a liar if I said this never made me jealous – it did – but more so, it left me in awe. I remember growing up, watching her, hoping to pick up on some of her tricks. Now I just watched her in amazement. I could feel my skin prickle when she talked to Matt – lightly touching his arm and tossing her hair. It was classic signs of flirting, but she had done it with several other party goers, I couldn’t be sure if maybe that’s just how she was.

After a while, she left Matt and moved on to someone else, and Matt came over and sat down next to me.

“You look tired. You didn’t have to come if you were tired.” He said, popping a chip in his mouth.

“I’m not tired.” I snapped. Then I corrected myself. “Sorry. I’m just… I guess I am tired. But Steph came and I didn’t want her stuck at the house while I slept.”

“She looks like she’s doing OK on her own.” Matt said, and I followed his gaze to where she know had a group of guys entertained.

“Yeah…” I said, trailing off.

“Anyway, why don’t you go crash on my bed for a little bit? Take a nap. I’ll come wake you when the game is over.”

“Yeah.” I said, suddenly feeling insanely tired. “Thanks. Tell Steph if she needs me.”

He nodded and waved me off. “She’ll be OK. I’ll watch out for her.”