Forever

“That’s like, the stuff fairy tales are made out of.” Sunny said, sighing dramatically and flinging herself back onto my bed.
“Right, because it’s every girls dream to hear ‘I just don’t know if the timing is right.’” I said, glancing back at her through my mirror where I sat, putting on my makeup.

It was finally Sunday, the day of the proposal, and I was in my room getting ready to go. I was anxious to see John again, even though we had spent all day yesterday texting and spent last night talking on the phone.

“That does concern me a little.” She said, popping her head up on her arm to look at me seriously. “I mean, you deserve a commitment Mel. Friends with benefits can – and usually does – backfire.”
“I wouldn’t call us friends with benefits. I just think we’re getting to know each other. Seeing where things go.”
Sunny kept her gaze on me and pursed her lips together. “Just… Promise me that if you start to get in too deep, you give him an ultimatum, OK?”
I rolled my eyes again. “OK. You know, Noah and John are going to be here to pick us up any minute, you better start getting ready. You know Noah gets pissy when you make him wait.”
“I am ready to go.” She said. I eyed her sloppy tee shirt (she slept in it last night.) Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail and I doubt she had even brushed it. “Don’t give me that look, Mel. Noah and I have been together forever, I don’t need to impress him like you do with John. Plus, he’s going to dump me anyway. Maybe this will speed up the process.” She grumbled.
“Maybe part of the problem is that you two have gotten so comfortable with each other. When was the last time you dressed up for him? Put a little effort into it.” I said, not unkindly. Sunny would kill me if I let her go out looking like a slob when she was about to get proposed too.
“It’s not that easy. It’s just… It’s not exciting any more.”
This caused me to pause, mascara halfway to my eye. “Do you still want to be with him?” I asked. Maybe that was the issue. Maybe I should call Noah and tell him to call the whole thing off.
“Of course I do. If I didn’t I wouldn’t be here. It’s just… We did get comfortable. It’s not new anymore. And the way people think about love, they just assume it’s easy all the time. Romance all the time. That’s not true. There’s no one I’d rather be bored with, or miserable with, then with Noah, but every time we hit a rough patch like this I get scared that he doesn’t feel the same way.”
“Go put on something cute. Brush your hair. Put on some make up. Fake it till you make it.” I said, and she nodded and left my room.

“Sunny! The boys just texted, they’re downstairs.”
“Nice of them to come up and get us.” She grumbled again. Her mood wasn’t much better, but she did look better – jeans and sneakers still, but she had put on make up, fixed her hair, and changed into a more form fitting white v-neck that was at least clean.
“Sunny, can you just pretend like you’re having a good time? I really hate to make it all about me, but I don’t want it to be all awkward with John and I think it will be if you and Noah start fighting…”
“I’m sorry. I’ll behave, I promise.” She said, linking her arm with mine and plastering a smile on her face.

True to her word, Sunny behaved the whole trip. Noah, however, I wanted to throttle. I knew it was just nerves but he was being so distant. Every time Sunny tried to interact with him, he pulled back and it became harder and harder for Sunny to recover. I knew he was working her nerves – so even though we had planned on doing the proposal later, I shot John a look.

“Let’s ride some stuff guys.” John said, catching on.
“You guys go on, I’ll play some games.” I said, following along with the script we had planned out the night before.
“You aren’t afraid of a little water, are you Lanie?” He asked. Then he flapped his arms up and down and bawked like a chicken.
“Afraid of the water, no. Afraid of the drop at the top, yes.”
“So let’s play some games instead.” Sunny suggested. “That way we can hang out for a little bit longer together. We can do rides later.”
“Bet you I kick your ass at the water guns.” John prompted.
“Care to put your money where your mouth is?” I asked.
“Sure. If I win, you have to get on the log ride with us.”
“Lanie doesn’t do rides.” Sunny interjected again.
“Lanie doesn’t lose, so it’s a moot point. WHEN I win, you have to ride the merry-go-round and I am your queen for the day.”
“Let’s do this.” John said.
“Maybe we should eat lunch first guys…” Noah said. John and I both knew he knew what we were up too, and he was stalling.
“Nope. I want to win so I can go ahead and collect my reward. Let’s go.” I said, marching us over to the water gun stand.

I’m sure if you’ve been to any kind of fair or amusement park, you’ve seen this game. Basically you have a gun and you have to shoot it into a mouth of some plastic clown (or something of the like), and you race to see who can fill it up the fastest. It was going to be tricky to lose this game on purpose – I had to keep it close to at least look like I wanted to win, but also make sure that I didn’t win. Luckily, Sunny and Noah decided to play as well (not because they were in on the bet, but because the more people playing, the bigger the prize we won, and Sunny has a thing for crappy carnival stuffed animals.) I at least didn’t have to worry about Sunny paying too much attention to me.

You already know who won – and he made a good show of it too – jumping up and down, pumping his fists, doing a victory lap. Even though it was fixed I still wanted to slap him. He picked his prize – a bright orange stuffed monkey with velcro on it’s hands so you could hang it from things – and walked it over to me. Wrapping it’s arms around my neck, he leaned in to whisper in my ear.

“He can hold you when I’m not around.”

I felt myself blush way down to my toes, but I didn’t have much chance to react before he grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the log ride.

“C’mon, I’m ready to collect.”

It was the end of the season for the park, and so there weren’t many people there. We didn’t have to wait in line long. On one hand, I was relieved. Less time to dwell and I would get the ride over more quickly. On the other hand, I didn’t want to do it at all. I tried to calm my breathing, but as I stepped into the log it took everything I had not to step back off.

“This is for Sunny. You’ll be fine. It’s just a few minutes.” I mumbled to myself.
“You OK there, Chicken?” John said, turning around. He was trying to razz me in front of Sunny for show, but I saw the concern in his eyes.
“I wish I was next to you.” I blurted out, my nerves clogging up my filter.
He slipped his hand back and took ahold of mine, giving it a squeeze. I knew he’d have to drop it in a moment, we’d have to hold up the signs – but for now I clung to it, not even thinking about how sweaty my hand had gotten.

I was sitting in the back. Originally, I had wanted to be in the middle – things felt safer in the middle. However we realized that if anyone was going to mess up their sign holding, it would be me (paralyzed with fear), so they stuck me in back to hold up the sign that simply said “Sunny”. John had “Will you” and Noah would be holding “Marry Me?” If we lost the Sunny, we’d be OK.

The ride started with a bump and a lurch. We twisted through some turns, and I was fine. I was actually thinking it was quite fun. I was OK when John dropped my hand, and I reached for my own sign to get it ready. I think I even laughed once. But then we reached the top, and we slowed just long enough for me to see how high we were.

“Oh shit.” Was all I managed before we were falling.

I thrust up my sign with one hand, hoping it’d be visible to the cameras, and with the other hand I clung on to the seat. This was not going to be an attractive picture of me – my mouth was open, my eyes were closed, but the thing about falling is that it’s always over fast. My eyes were still closed when I felt my sign being taken from me. John had grabbed it and stashed it back down below his feet before Sunny could see. He stepped out of the ride back on to the platform where he offered me a hand out.

“You’re shaking.” He said, pulling me to him and wrapping an arm around him.
“I wasn’t kidding about being terrified.” I said flatly.
“But you did it. As always, I am surprised by you.” He gave me a squeeze, and then to my disappointment, dropped his arm.
“Let’s go see the picture!” Sunny said. “It’s gotta be great, I want to see your face Mel. I heard you screaming all the way up front.”
Noah positioned himself behind Sunny, and dropped down to one knee. Sunny was too busy looking for our picture to notice.
“Oh, there we are!” She said. “Wait. What are you guys holding…” Then she gasped, and turned to find Noah.
“I’m sorry I’ve been so weird these past couple of days. My mind has been a little preoccupied and I didn’t mean to be so distant. I just know how lucky I am to have you, Sunny, and I wanted to make sure I had something that was worthy of you, because I’m requesting to have you for the rest of my life. I don’t deserve you, but if you’ll have me, I’ll take you.”
Sunny dropped to her knees in front of him, and wrapped her arms around him. “Oh Noah. You know you don’t even have to ask. Yes. Of course. Forever.”