http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=5806973741094582668#editor/target=post;postID=3656679643044392275

That's the link to the last entry, if you need a refresher, the new entry is below this one. You'll have to copy and paste - it seems every time I try to directly link it messed it all up.

October is over, so I'm hoping stuff stops sucking, lol. My brother had his arraignment and while it's not over, they did let him go home (I was worried about them wanting to keep him until trial.) Hopefully, everything remains OK. But his trial is supposed to start in 6-8 weeks they said, so. If anything, expect another melt down then.

My Mother in law and I got into it, which actually needed to happen, because it's been brewing for five years now. Basically, she was "sick" for Cayden's last birthday party and hasn't seen the boys in 2-3 months. They live 10-15 minutes away - there's really no excuse for going that long between seeing them, especially when they pretty much have nothing to do. I was already irritated by this (I'm assuming you're all readers from the last blog and now that this is a habit. She missed Eli's first birthday party and hasn't been to one of Cayden's since he was 2.) It was made worse by the fact that she called him and went on and on about how Nana misses him, and how she was sick, and how "maybe I just need to see you to feel better." And then the next day went to the casino.

Yeah. I hate her. Anyway, trying to make a long story at least a little shorter - I told Jeremy he needed to say something to her. Either she puts in an effort to be in their lives, or she takes herself out of their lives, because Cayden is getting to an age where he's noticing she's not there and he asks why and gets sad. And I'm the one who has to explain, and has to make excuses for her (when I really don't want too, but I'm trying to protect his feelings.) Anyway, she finally calls and asks if we can get together this week. Jeremy tells her yes, but it has to be Tuesday. Monday Jer has class, Wednesday we were trick or treating with our friends who were moving, and Thurday and Friday Jeremy works evenings at his other job. She says OK. Jer lets her know that we will be there by four, the kids go to bed around 8, and since they'd be staying up late for trick or treat, we didn't want to keep them up late that night. She says she'll run it by George (who fell asleep at 6PM) and call us back.

We called at 10. Both phones were off, meaning they were both asleep. Jeremy called four times the following morning, and we were actually worried something happened. One o'clock rolls around, and guess who calls? Where were they? In bed. They had fallen asleep the night before at like, 6 and 8 PM, and didn't get out of bed until 1 in the afternoon. Which would have been fine - except she said that before she could meet us they had to get a haircut and get dinner. Which, for anyone normal, 3 hours might be enough time to do this. For my in laws? 3 hours isn't long enough to eat dinner.

So Jeremy tells them to forget about it. And he's trying to talk to her about everything going on, and all she keeps focusing on is this particular incident, and when Jeremy keeps trying to bring up the past incidents (missing birthday parties, cancelling plans last minute, showing up late, not showing up at all, ect.) She tries to give him to his Dad, even though he said the problem was with her, and not his father.

Well. I can't keep my mouth shut. So I'm saying things in the background - nothing mean, just bringing up points. And she goes "Tell that bitch to shut up."

Uh. Excuse me? The mature thing would have been to ignore it. I did not respond to it very maturely (I believe my response was, I'd rather be a bitch than a psychotic self centered cunt. Am I proud of what I said? No. But I'd be lying if I said it didn't feel a little good.) Then I said I had been putting up with her stuff for five years and I was done - to which she responded "I've been putting up with HER for five years. And don't even get me started on her family."

Now. My family and I fight. We aren't perfect. I don't always like them, and they know how to work my very last nerve. But every single time that Jeremy or I needed something, my family has been there. Whether they were angry with me, whether we were fighting - it didn't matter. So when she said this - I saw red. Especially considering that my Mother has helped Jeremy out more than his own parents. When we lost our townhouse and had no place to go? My Mom told us to move in with her (Jeremy's parents never once offered.) When I was super pregnant with Cayden and Jeremy had his knee surgery, it was my Mom who came over daily to check on us and bring food so I wouldn't have to cook. My Mom put Jeremy's car in her name after only knowing him a few months (because his parents refused for no reason.) Jeremy's parents kicked us off their family cell phone plan (again, for no reason. We had never been late and actually covered their side of the bill a couple of times) my Mom allowed us to join hers. My Mom, as much as she works, makes time to see the kids every weekend usually, has been to all of their birthday parties. I mean I could go on and on. And I know she said this because she's jealous of my Mom and how close she is with the boys, but my Mom is that close not because I offer preferential treatment, but because she makes time to be there. I have NEVER cancelled plans with Jeremy's parents in order to see my family, but I HAVE cancelled plans with my family because the in laws decided they wanted to see the boys and it had been so long since their last visit. The only thing I don't do for them is to call them - but I used too. And after getting ignored so many times, I stopped.

Sorry, this was supposed to be a short story and I went off on a tangent. But basically, when she said that, I went off. I said some things I didn't mean just because I was angry, but I also said some things I did mean. This has been a long time coming, and I really am done with her stuff - she can blame me if she wants too (she tried. I tried to mention how many events she's missed, and I started with our wedding, since that's where it started and she was all "so this is what this is about, you're mad I missed your wedding." Uh, no. Stop deflecting and focus on the point at hand.) I want them in my kids lives - I don't like her, but my kids do, and when they are around they don't treat them horribly, but this in and out and making everything about her has got to stop, or else they can just be out. She tried to make me feel guilty since George is sick, but really he's been sick for awhile and hasn't done anything to improve his health or his relationship with the boys. If he's not going to do it, then I can't make him. And I am honestly trying to fix this so that everyone can see each other. I just can't continue to have this relationship with them.

Funniest part of the convo though: Jeremy mentioned how she missed Cayden's birthday party, and how George came. She said "George didn't even want to go!" ...First, way to throw your husband under the bus, secondly NOBODY wants to go to a kids birthday party except for other kids. The fact is, he didn't want to go and he showed up anyway. That's what you do when you love someone.

Anyway. My friend moved and that was sad - I'm still waiting for it to hit Cayden. I don't think it will until he wants to play with Tyler and I have to remind him that we can't. We probably won't see them until Eli's birthday party, and I really think a month will be the longest we've gone without seeing each other. It makes me so sad, especially since people always say they'll keep in touch, and rarely ever do. I'm hoping we can be the exception though.

Alright. I've written a book and stayed up later than I meant too, and this weekend is going to be crazy busy (Cayden has school tomorrow and I'm expecting another freak out since I let him stay home today, and his teachers are coming for a home visit on Monday which means I need to clean my whole house and that's not going to be an easy feat, and Jeremy works both jobs tomorrow so he's going to be gone all day. Look for a post next week - I'm not sure it'll be Monday, but I'll try.

Thanks so much for hanging in there with me guys <3