Drama, drama, drama

Do you guys ever feel like you're dealing with one issue after another all the time? I feel like we're constantly dealing with something. And you know, maybe it's just life, getting over every obstacle, but I'd sure like it if stuff took a break for a minute.

Let's take recent events. Last week I found out my cousin died. He was older than me and on my dad's side of the family, so we were not close. Even when I was close to my Dad's side of the family, he was older than me, so not a cousin I played with a lot (unlike a cousin I lost last year, who I remember when she was born and died in a very sudden and sad manner, leaving behind a 6 month old daughter.)

I wasn't sad per say. I mean I was sad for his family - my Uncle lost a son and my other cousins lost their brothers. But it's not like it personally affected me, per say. Only any time something like this happens with my Dad's family, I get sad for a whole other reason. We aren't close, for a variety of reasons: One, a lot of them have... Issues... that I choose not to be around. And secondly, when my grandma died, it's like they cut us out completely. They didn't really try to stay in touch, and I didn't really see them anymore. I was so young, so I felt like trying to stay in touch should have fallen on my Aunt and Uncle's shoulders, but they just didn't seem to care. I don't really think it was malicious, per say, because as I've gotten older and made the effort to reach out to them, they've always been nice but... Now it's just awkward. Too much time has passed and I just don't think we can make it up. When my Uncle died a few years ago, my heart was broken because I lost a chance and a connection to my Dad. He died when I was so young and I don't know much about him, but they do. And I'm losing it slowly and I continue to lose it every time I lose another member of that family.

Anyway. Anymore it's not soley their fault. I'm old enough to reach out to them now and I don't. It's weird and awkward and hard, but I could grow up and bite the bullet, and I just don't. But a death in the family means I go see them because I feel obligated - but I also feel hopeful that maybe this time... It'll work, and I'll feel like family. And so far, every time it's just been a reminder that nope. You still don't belong here.

The day after we found out my cousin had died, my brother ended up back in the hospital. Which is eerie, because he had his heart attack last year shortly after we found out that my younger cousin had been killed. It stressed me out, brought back memories of how we almost lost him, and it was a wreck. Luckily, he's OK - they just needed to play with his heart medication a little and he's good to go. His legal troubles, for the record, are also over. It didn't end in the best case scenario, but there's no jail time, so I guess it's not the worst case scenario either.

Then the boys got sick. They haven't really been sick all winter, so I suppose we had it coming. And they had it bad - no throwing up or anything like that, but they were both running high fevers and very lathargic. I'm probably a horrible Mom for saying this, but I kind of liked it. Don't get me wrong, I hated that they were sick, and fevers make me nervous, but they were so calm. It was nice to be able to have a day where we literally laid around and watched movies and cuddled all day.

So then things seem to die down, and I think, awesome. We're going to visit a friend in Cleveland on Sunday, and Easter is next Sunday and I'm having my family over so I have a lot to do - so calm is good. Except yesterday morning we wake up to a call from my Mother in law.

My father in law was at work. He works at home depot. He climbed a ladder to get some light bulbs down. He ended up falling. Details are still hazy - he broke his shoulder (first we were told it was broken in three places, and then last night I guess they looked at the x-rays and said it was broken in more than three.) He's lucky that's all he broke - especially considering the height he fell from, his age, his weight, his heart condition, ect. But, he's obviously in a lot of pain. He was supposed to have surgery today so Jeremy called off work to go be there annnnd now his pacemaker is acting up and they can't do the surgery.

All in all it's a frustrating situation. Jeremy's parents only have him to rely on, so we had to run up there yesterday to go pick up George's car at work and take it home, and we thought we were going to have to go to the hospital to drop off his CPAP machine, and today Jeremy took the day off work to go sit for his surgery only to find out it's not happening. It's not George's fault, or anything - I'm sure he would rather be at home himself - there is no one to blame. It's just a crappy situation. But Mary Anne doesn't drive, she says she can't find anyone to take her to the hospital or pick her up (I honestly don't know if she's tried) and she seems to think that Jeremy is available to her whenever - which just isn't the case. I'm willing to give him up when he's off, but he has to go to work and I think tomorrow she's likely to be very upset about this. (I'm also kind of laughing at the fact that we can't get her to just show up at fun functions like birthday parties, buuuuut we're expected to drop everything and schlep our two young kids to do her bidding when she needs it. I'm trying hard not to be bitter. It's not working.)

Anyway, if you guys could keep George in your thoughts, I'd appreciate it. I'm working on this weeks post and hope to finish it up after I get my crazy monsters to bed. (It's an hour and a half before their bedtime. Is it too early to put them to bed early?)