Monday, December 22, 2014
Happy Holidays Y'all
I really did have every intention of coming back, and it was something that I was looking forward to. This year has been really such an insane whirlwind of WTF moments, but Jeremy and I seemed to be doing better and I figured what else could go wrong - I figured I'd be ending the year off well. I just needed to keep a positive attitude.
And then I found out Jeremy cheated. We won't get into the details because it really doesn't matter, but it was multiple times, multiple people and has probably been going on for... Well, lets just say awhile.
So I really didn't mean to come back and give false promises. It's just that he moved out and now I'm just. Juggling things and trying to figure it all out. I'm not feeling very positive. I'm not a lot of fun to be around right now. India Arie does a great cover of Don Henley's "Heart Of The Matter" and in it there's a line that says "There are people in your life who've come and gone/They've let you down, you know they've hurt your pride/better put it all behind you 'cause life goes on/you keep carrying that anger, it'll eat you up inside." The whole song is about Forgiveness - how life is complicated and hard and you need to move on and forgive. And that's too hard for me right now - I'm so angry and hurt. But I'll get there, because it'll do so much good for me. I'm just... Not there yet.
I may be back some time - but I really can't give a date and I can't say yes or no and at this point I know there is no way I could promise any sort of consistent posting, and I don't want to bail on y'all yet again.
I'm sorry. I hope y'all have a very happy holiday. Here's to kickin ass in 2015, cuz it's gotta be better than this, right?
Thanks for everything y'all.
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Oh honey :( I am so, so sorry. That is really upsetting, and I hope you and your boys are doing ok. I wish you the best during the holiday season.
ReplyDelete((hugs))
ReplyDeleteAwe.. Here's to a better 2015.
ReplyDeleteIt will get better. Just have faith that it WILL be better. Here is a quote that hopefully gives you inspiration "When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn."
ReplyDelete-Harriet Beecher Stowe Life is messy and sometimes people that suppose to love us disappoints us but we have to remember that they are human to forgive them and not let anger rule your heart. Don't give them your power because you are strong smart and beautiful and that what makes you who you are. Let him go and let it go. Start this year by looking forward. God Bless you.
Miss you, gal. Prayers for you, Jeremy and the boys. mum
ReplyDeleteEven if it's just to post how YOURE doing, you should. I haven't blogged in a long time, but when I went through my divorce, I found it my support system. The people I met through there, are friends I still have through facebook even without the blog. They were there for me, and we are friends that haven't met face to face, but we are still there for each other.
ReplyDeleteOne day at a time. That's all you can do. I wish you the best, and you don't need to forgive for a while. It's been five years. Im just now forgiving. It's so hard. And a lot of us understand. We are here for you. xo
Hope you're doing okay! Know that you're still missed!
ReplyDeleteIt's been about a year. Would love an update to hear how you're going. I bet the boys are SO big!! mum
ReplyDeleteJust checking in...
ReplyDelete